The Letters
by EmilyGail
Summary: The Golden Trio returns to Hogwarts to find a completely new Draco Malfoy. Harry cannot help but develop new feelings to match the new Draco, but doesn't think he has a chance. At the suggestion of Hermione, he begins to write him letters with no intention of ever sending them. HP/DM. AU. Non-epilogue compliant.
1. Dear Draco

Dear Draco,

Honestly, I have no idea why I'm even writing this. It's not like you are ever going to read these. 'Mione told me it was therapeutic or some nonsense. And, as usual, she wouldn't stop badgering me until I agreed to give it a try. So… here it goes.

Every day I see you in the halls, a weird feeling creeps up in my stomach. At first, I just thought it was because the last time I saw you I saved your life. And that makes me uncomfortable. But then you came up to me that first night in the dorms. I'll never forget it.

I was sitting in front of the fireplace, trying not to think about what had happened the last time I was at Hogwarts. I had long since sent Hermione and Ron up to bed. I didn't want to sit there while they stared at me with pity. They could use some alone time anyway. As I was sitting there, brooding, I heard you walk up to me and clear your throat. I was shocked to see you standing over me. And I was even more shocked to hear the words that came out of your mouth.

"Potter, er… Harry… can I talk to you for a minute?"

Unable to say anything, I just nodded and gestured to the armchair across from mine. I watched you run your hands through your ridiculously blonde hair, unable to tear my eyes away until you opened your mouth again.

"I just wanted to thank you. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even be alive. And you spoke up for my family when we didn't deserve it in the slightest. There is no way my parents would have escaped Azkaban if it weren't for your help. So… thank you, Harry."

I must have sat there in silence for at least two whole minutes before I regained my ability to speak. "Mal- Draco, you don't have to thank me. If anything, I should be thanking you. You saved my life when I was in your manor. I would have died there, and the war never would have ended. And your mother saved my life in the forest that night. She was brave enough to lie to Voldemort's face to save me. I will forever be indebted to her. Testifying was the absolute least I could do."

And then, the most amazing thing in the world happened. You actually smiled at me. And then you reached out your hand to me for the second time in my life, a look of determination on your face. "What do you say, Harry? Do you think we can manage to be friends?"

My eyes went from your face, to your hand, and then to your startling grey eyes. I only had to think about it for a second. I reached out and grasped your hand in mine, returning your smile. "Yes, Draco, I think we can."

Ever since that night, I have been irrevocably in love with you.

Until next time,

Harry James Potter


	2. Sharing the Dorms

Dear Draco,

I can't decide if having the 8th years from all four houses living together in one common room is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to me.

McGonagall sent out letters to everyone in my year telling us that we were all welcome to return and repeat our last year at Hogwarts as "8th years." The half of the year that actually returned didn't learn anything useful in most of their classes, and the other half weren't even there. This way, we could all take the N.E.W.T.S. at the end of the year before going out and joining the work force.

After the Welcoming Feast, she held us all back and told us that, because we were staying an extra year, there wasn't room in the House dormitories for all of us. So she set up a new dormitory for all of us to share on the first floor. There was one large common room, decorated in all the House colors. Then there were two large dorms, one for all the boys and one for all the girls.

There were fourteen boys sharing the long rectangular room with seven beds on each side. The first night was chaotic with fourteen boys rushing around and claiming beds for themselves. The five Gryffindors managed to all get beds one on side of the room, with empty beds on each end. Ernie Macmillan claimed the one across from Justin Finch-Fletchley and Zacharias Smith, his fellow Hufflepuffs. The Ravenclaws, Terry Boot, Michael Corner, and Anthony Goldstein, grabbed the three middle beds. That left two beds on one side, and one open on the other. I had the bed next to the empty one, and glanced at the three Slytherins who were trying to decide which beds to claim. Imagine my shock when you claimed the bed next to mine.

Later, once we agreed to try to be friends, that decision made a little more sense to me.

Now that the War was over, I decided that we all needed to get over our House rivalries. And when I say I decided, I really mean Hermione decided. But, she convinced me to spear head this new project of hers. Something about people being more willing to listen to me than her. And what better way to make new friends than by throwing a party?

That first weekend at Hogwarts before classes started we threw a huge party in our common room, 8th years only. Ron and I made a trip to Hogsmeade to get the liquor and food. It was nice to see Aberforth as well.

The party was a success.

Ron and I had set up the drinks and food along one wall, and Seamus had brought down his wireless. Once everyone had had a few drinks, the barriers between houses seemed to melt away. I could see Parvati Patil across the room chatting with Terry Boot. She was laughing, something I hadn't heard her do since Lavender…

The highlight of my night was definitely when we played exploding snap with Hermione and Pansy. I never thought that those two would get along as well as they are. But hey, if we can be friends, so can they.

Now that we are friends, it is nice that we all live in the same dorm. But, at the same time, it is an exquisite form of torture.

The first time you walked out of the bathroom, I could barely keep myself from drooling. You just walked right up next to me to your trunk, with only a towel slung low across your hips, water droplets dripping down your chest…

Damn it, Potter, focus!

You were practically naked, standing right next to me, and then you _smiled._ All I could manage to do was nod back at you and force myself to not look down. As soon as your back was turned, I ran across the room into the loo. I turned the water onto freezing and jumped straight into the shower, my pajamas still on. I leaned my head against the cool tile and tried to force all thoughts of you out of my head. Tried being the key word.

If only you knew what you do to me, Draco.

Sexually frustratedly yours,

Harry James Potter.


	3. That Damn Ginger Harlot

Dear Draco,

That damn ginger harlot is driving me insane! I swear to Merlin if she doesn't give me a little space, I am going to accidentally blow up the Astronomy Tower.

I managed to avoid her all summer long. It was a busy time between the funerals and memorials and helping to rebuild Hogwarts. Enough was happening that I was able to make excuses and put off the talk that I knew we needed to have. But now that we are back at school, she has started following me around like a puppy dog and making up any excuse necessary to get me alone.

It especially pisses me off that every time I manage to find some alone time with you she ruins everything.

Just yesterday when we were playing chess in the library, she popped up out of nowhere and tried to convince me that her Pygmy Puff was missing and that he was in grave danger if we didn't find him immediately. Too bad I watched her give him to Luna for the day. Does she think I am dense?

It's not that I don't like Ginny anymore. When she isn't stalking me, she can be a lot of fun. But she just can't take a hint. I know I should never have dated her, much less given her hope that we would ever get back together. Looking back, I realize that I had confused sisterly affection for romantic interest. As they say, hindsight is 20/20.

I blame it on having the fate on the entire universe resting on my 16 year old shoulders.

Last week I finally gathered what was left of my Gryffindor courage and tried to sit down with her. She was ecstatic when I asked her to take a walk with me down by the lake. (Note to self: do not bring ex-girlfriends to places that we used to have dates at if I do no intend to resume said relationship.)

The whole walk down to the lake I was silent. I could hear Ginny chattering about nonsense, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was too nervous about what I was about to say to her.

I stopped walking when we reached the edge of the water and looked up, about to start this wretched conversation, when I heard what she was saying.

"It really is about time you came to your senses, Harry dear. The whole wizarding world is waiting for you to propose to me. Mum and Dad will be so glad when they hear we are back together. I figure by the end of the year we will be engaged, and then Mum can start plan-"

"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" I demanded, interrupting the stream of crazy that was spewing from her mouth.

For the first time since her speech began, she realized that I wasn't agreeing with her.

"I am talking about our future, Harry. Everyone expects us to be together. I am just trying to give the public what they want." At that point she had the guts to try to wrap her arms around me.

I managed to break out of her hold and step away from her. "If you think I give a damn about what the public wants, then you clearly don't know me very well, Ginny. And I didn't bring you out here to tell you that we could be together again. I brought you here to tell you that things are over between us, and they have been for a long time. I am just only now brave enough to tell you."

Ginny stared at me for a few seconds before bursting into laughter. "Oh, that was a good one. Do tell me more."

She continued to laugh for a few more minutes before she realized that I wasn't laughing with her. She sobered up pretty quickly after that.

I looked down at my feet, too embarrassed to look at her. "I'm really sorry, Gin. I thought that I liked you that way, maybe even loved you. But the truth is, you're like my little sister. And I realized that I could never think of you romantically. You're a part of my family."

The next thing I know she is slapping me across the face. Hard. But I guess I deserved that.

"Did you think it was funny to string me along all this time?" Ginny spat at me. "Did you laugh about it with Ron and Hermione while you were gone? Poor little Ginny, in love with the Boy Who Lived. You know, I knew you were some noble hero. But I never knew you could be so cruel."

I held my hand to my face, trying to smother the stinging. "Please, Gin, I never meant to hurt you! I was just under so much stress last year, and you were there to help make the burden lighter. I am so thankful for everything you did for me, and so sorry that I ever hurt you. That was never my intention."

Ginny just scoffed at me and crossed her arms. "Fuck you, Harry." With that, she walked away.

By dinnertime, word had spread across the school. Ginny told everyone that she dumped me because I was a freak, traumatized by the war. I even saw her sitting with Dean, practically in his lap.

Ron came up to me demanding to know what had happened. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't interested in her like that, but he wouldn't let me.

"I warned you, Harry. I told you not to mess her around. I trusted you with my baby sister, and you threw it in my face!" He turned and stomped off without so much as a glance.

Hermione sent me an apologetic look. She was the only one who knew the truth. "Don't listen to him, Harry. I'll go try to talk some sense into him." With that, she ran off in the direction he had disappeared. And I was all alone.

When I got back to the common room that night, you were waiting for me. You didn't say anything, just handed me a bottle of firewhiskey. I smiled weakly, and you smiled back at me. We spent the night sitting in front of the fire getting completely pissed. You never brought up Ginny or any of the awful rumors that were floating around the school.

Thank you.

Love,

Harry

A/N: So I originally posted the first chapter to see what kind of response I would get. I've had overwhelmingly positive feedback, and for that I am extremely grateful. Don't be afraid to tell me the truth, even if it is bad. Reviews are a learning experience for me, and I appreciate them.

Also, I am making a twitter account for my author page. Sometimes I get so caught up in schoolwork that I completely forget to write or post a chapter. This way, you all can yell at me whenever I slack off! I'll post the info in the next chapter (if I remember!).

Lastly, I wanted to explain how I came up with this idea. I was in a really shitty relationship with an asshole who I couldn't really be myself around (sound familiar to anyone?). I started a journal of letters to him that I never intended to send. It was the only thing that kept me sane. That was over a year ago now. But I figured if that technique worked for me, it could work for Harry as well!

P. S. Thank you to the reviewers who pointed out some grammatical errors! They have now been fixed.


	4. Everyone Hates Me But You

Dear Draco,

I never should have come back here.

Ron still hasn't spoken to me. I know I broke up with his sister, but I thought that he would stand by my side after everything we've been through together. Hermione has been splitting her time between us. I understand; Ron is her boyfriend, and I'm just her friend. I can't expect her to start ignoring him on my behalf.

Ginny has been trying to turn most people against me. Her and Dean are clearly together now, which has made things a bit awkward between us. I'm not mad or anything, but he has been avoiding me. And with Dean ignoring me, Seamus hasn't been around much either. Neville spends most of his time with his new girlfriend, Hannah Abbott, so I don't see much of him either. Everything is changing.

There has been one positive change, though.

I guess you noticed that I've been spending more and more time alone, so you seem to have made it your mission to distract me. Every time I find myself alone and brooding, you seem to find me and make me feel better. Whether we go down to the pitch for a while, or just sit in the library doing homework, you always seem to make me forget everything that's happening to me.

Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you.

Gratefully yours,

Harry James Potter


End file.
